Posted on 2014-10-10 00:00:00 +0000

I remember playing “Pass It On” as a child. In memory, it was designed to get information from one person to another, through a chain of others. Invariably, it had to do with whether so-and-so liked someone or didn’t like someone. Despite its similarity to another child’s game – Telephone – “Pass It On” tended to work very effectively. The initial message – say Susan likes Noel – generally made its way from sender to recipient intact. It rarely devolved into the chaos that Telephone generated, where the sentence “I have a key in my pocket” could arrive at its destination as “I just peed on your locket.”

The vital part played by the couriers of the message was to stay out of the way. Their job was to deliver the words simply and clearly. If they held up their end of the bargain, successful communication would occur.

I found myself in the position of being for help by a close friend. The subject had to do with a wage re-negotiation. I’m not a Captain of Industry who can reflect on years of masterful negotiations. However, like most others, I know a thing or two about a thing or two. This stems from having lived, made mistakes, enjoyed victories, and listened to others. I didn’t view it my responsibility to give advice but, rather, to share my story on the subject. I could only speak as to what worked for me.

My friend expressed gratitude for my part of the conversation. I was happy that what I had to say had value for him and wished him Godspeed with the impending conversation. Being an analytical sort, I reviewed what I had written. It was good stuff, useful words being said in aid of assisting a mate. However, it was abundantly clear to me that there was nothing of my ego in the email I sent. Rather, it was a cogent repackaging of what I had learned from others, from experience, and from reading.

At some point, someone had likely given me much of the advice I had suggested to my friend. What has stuck, over the years, are those strategies and approaches that have worked. That’s what I was able to pass on.

I believe that’s when we tap into a certain magic that life has to offer. Like the silly game of my youth, communication is clearest and most helpful when we don’t interfere.

This principle is also applicable to the good things that befall us. We’ve heard the phrase “Pay It Forward.” I’ve never been a fan of the wording. We pay bills, we pay debt, it’s a word that speaks to commerce. It also suggests that the gift, nice gesture, windfall, etc., actually belonged to the person who received it. But an act of kindness is not performed to created indebtedness; on the contrary, it is done for its own sake. If we understand the instinct of generosity as being selfless, then we must focus on those words – and the concept – that best engenders that selflessness. To “Pass It On” means we do not attach ourselves to how we’re helping someone else. We recognize that we have been fortunate enough to benefit from another’s generosity of spirit and we allow ourselves to do so for another.

Gratitude functions this way. We know what it’s like when we are acknowledged; it feels great. We are deeply appreciative when someone takes the time – the most precious currency any of us have – to express his or her thanks; it makes our day. The best thing we can do with the gratitude we receive? Pass it on.

Take action today, thank someone who’s helped you, do a nice thing for someone in need, make a donation to a charity of your choice. To give of ourselves allows us to make someone else happy for no reason and we can be satisfied known we’ve done right by others.